Halo
by Psyc0gurl0
Summary: Naley! Haley James is sent to Tree Hill to live with her cousin to get away from the sex, drugs, and alcohol of NYC. In Tree Hill she meets some strange, but fun people that may or may not help her change her ways. Better summary inside.
1. Chapter 1: Obnoxious

**Title:** Halo

**Author:** Psyc0gurl0

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the idea.

**Summary: **Haley James the famous singer was just sent to live with her family down in Tree Hill to try and get away from the fast paced NYC life. Her parents couldn't handle her anymore so they sent her to live with her cousin. In Tree Hill Haley meets a lot of strange, but fun people forcing her to change for better or worse. Hopefully at least a song will come out of it.

**Couples:** Naley, with some Brucas, and Jeyton.

**Chapter 1: Obnoxious**

It was obnoxious.

That was the only word for it. It was the only word that would describe it.

Obnoxious.

The entire thing.

It was obnoxious that I had to make the move in the first place and it was obnoxious that I was ridiculed to staying with my cousin. A cousin I had met a total of five times. Now here I was standing in front of said cousins house with two large black suitcases and a black leather purse which was hiding my stash.

Obnoxious.

"Haley!" my cousin exclaimed in earnest excitement.

"It's been too long!" Peyton Sawyer announced smiling happily at me.

I pulled a fake smile over my lips and returned the hug she was offering.

"It totally has!" I replied still smiling.

"How are you?" Peyton asked releasing me from a hug.

I turned to my uncle Larry and hugged him also.

"I'm fine." I replied shortly.

She nodded wondering if I was going to say more.

"So...is this all your stuff?" Larry asked gesturing to the bags.

I nodded and grabbed them both to carry into the house. I listened as Peyton chattered on about school, cheerleading, her friends, everything I didn't care about.

"Cool." I said once we got to the room I would be staying in. I dumped my bags on the floor and bed then turned to look at the skinny blonde.

"I really like your hair color." Peyton added trying to make conversation.

I smiled a tight smile, "so what do you do for fun around here?" I asked sitting on the bed.

"Um...well. There's a lot to do. You know, since it's Saturday we could go meet my friends."

"Sounds fun." I sarcastically replied.

She smiled that same tight smile.

"So...do you miss it?" she asked quietly sitting on my bed beside me. I took a deep breath in not wanting to answer.

"I'd prefer if we didn't talk about it." I whispered not wanting to talk about my music least of all with my cousin.

"Some of the people at school listen to your music...just to warn you." Peyton said looking at me sympathetically.

I stood up suddenly and walked towards the door.

"Let's leave. I mean, it's my first day in Tree Hill I don't want to spend it sitting around and discussing my failures. Let's go." I firmly said.

She nodded and got up and we walked out the door together and to Peyton's car. We didn't talk much the entire way, which was fine with me.

I watched the scenery as we drove past and I thought about all the differences from here and New York. It was pretty southern country but I preferred the tall skyscrapers of New York to large hills and sycamore trees.

"Here we are. Karen's Café. This is where everything happens. My best friends boyfriend's mom owns the place so we come here a lot."

I looked over at Peyton as she said this. She had an odd facial expression on when she explained about her best friend and the best friend's boyfriend.

"Right." I said raising an eyebrow at her.

"Let's go. You've got to be starved." Peyton smiled at me then proceeded to drag me into the café.

A blonde haired women was pouring coffee when she greeted us.

"Peyton! Is this your cousin, Haley?" the blonde women came over to us holding the coffee cup to the side.

She looked like a typical waitress., apron and coffee container.

"Is this Karen?" I asked looking back and forth between Peyton and the blonde.

The blonde laughed and shook her head, "no, my names Deb Scott. I'm a friend of Karen's. She actually isn't feeling well today so I'm covering for her."

"What's the matter with her?" I blurted out.

"Morning sickness. Poor thing." Deb answered shaking her head.

I nodded in understanding then turned back to Peyton who shrugged.

"Karen just found out she was pregnant a few days ago and she's been having a rough time dealing." Peyton sympathetically replied.

I nodded again looking back and forth between the blondes.

"Have you introduced her to Nathan yet? Or Brooke? Or Lucas?" Deb asked. "Or did you take her right over and visit Jenny and Jake?" Deb added smiling at Peyton who blushed.

I raised my eyebrow at the mention of Jenny and Jake. There seemed to be something with Jenny and Jake that Peyton wasn't sharing. Maybe they were the best friend and boyfriend.

"Nope. This was the first place. I thought some people would be here...I guess not." Peyton mumbled looking around the café.

"Do you know where they'd be?"

Deb gave her a 'you know where' look and whisked away to take someone's order and pour more coffee. Peyton and I recited our goodbyes and we left to go wherever Peyton thought her friends were.

"Usually I would just call them. But they aren't that hard to find. Everyone's totally into Basketball around here. Were they big in basketball at your old school?"

I shrugged.

"I don't know. I was always in and out of school, you know. I was more concentrated on my music career...but...you know how that turned out." I muttered angrily.

Peyton looked at me, "everyone knows how that turned out."

I shot a look at her not wanting to discuss it. It was true though, I was always all over the tabloids. That's how my parents first found out. It was only a matter of time before the paparazzi got down to Tree Hill and ruined my life here too.

"There's this place called the River Court the guys sometimes go to. They play basketball and stuff. It's pretty fun to watch." Peyton said as we drove past little houses.

"You watch basketball for fun?" I asked in astonishment.

"Yeah...we cheer for it. You know, you could try out for cheerleading. It's a lot of fun. Brooke and I are on it." Peyton cheerily announced.

I raised an eyebrow and a smirk went to my lips. "I'll think about it."

Peyton smiled. "Great. So let me tell you a little about everyone. There's Brooke whose my best friend. She dates Lucas Scott. Lucas's mom owns the café. They've been dating for, like, almost 6 months."

"Aw. That's cute."

"Yeah..."

"So who else is there? What about this Jake and Jenny and this Nathan guy?"

"Jake is my boyfriend, actually and Jenny is his daughter. Nathan is Lucas' brother. Well, not brother-brother. Like half-brother. You see in high school Dan Scott, which is Nathan's and Lucas' father got Karen pregnant. Then Dan went off to college and got Deb pregnant and they got together and had Nathan. But Karen was left alone to raise Lucas by herself cause Dan's a prick, you know?"

I stared at her for a few seconds then shook my head.

"What the hell town did I move to?" I murmured listening to Peyton laugh at my comment.

"You'll get used to it. Oh! And they're here, too. Awesome. Are you ready to meet my friends?"

I shrugged as we parked then stepped out of the car.

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

"Great! My friend's will love you. By the way, Nathan's kinda a huge fan."

I laughed loudly as we started walking to a concrete court with about 6 guys playing basketball. I watched as a blonde nodded towards us and they stopped playing. They turned to watch Peyton and I walk across the grass approaching them.

"Is Nathan gay or something?" I asked as we walked.

Peyton laughed and was about to respond when a deep male voice did instead.

"You told Haley James I was gay, Peyton?"

I felt myself blush at what I saw.

(A/n: so...good or bad? it's my first OTH ff...)


	2. Chapter 2: Blue Eyes

**A/n:** AND...it's been a SUPER DUPER long time! Really long! I hope this chapter makes up for it. I was actually away in another country w/o computers for 6 weeks...yeah. Then i came back and had school funness. and now I'm back here instead of writing an essay due in 2 days im giving u guys another chapter. Sigh. Anyway thank you everybody! i didn't think this story would be that interesting or popular...if it is popular. ANyway! i'll stop rambling cause I'm not even sure what im saying. Oh! the season priemere was amazing! and u guys are amazing for reading and reviewing!

**Chapter 2: Blue-Eyes**

He had deep blue eyes, chocolate brown hair, and a sweaty six-pack. His eyes seemed to stare into my soul. He was gorgeous and he was looking at me. I was never one to think about love at first sight. But defiantly looking at Nathan Scott I could tell that I was very much in lust.

I looked at Peyton next to me who smirked at Nathan.

"No I didn't tell her that you were gay. I just told her you listened to her music. She just assumed you were cause her music is kinda...you know."

I raised an eyebrow at her comment.

What was my music? It was my music. It was my life. It was me. If Nathan liked my music then he obviously liked me because I was my music.

I shook my head. I was starting to feel dizzy from all those sudden thoughts. Or maybe it was the fact I was still looking at Nathan's sweaty abs and I forgot to breath.

"Hi, I'm Haley." I said offering a hand to him and then to the blonde who introduced himself as Lucas. I looked at the brunette girl next to Lucas and assumed it was his girlfriend.

"Brooke." she said as I shook her hand and she smirked at her.

She seemed kinda offended, at what I wasn't sure.

"Hi, I'm Jake and this is Jenny." Peyton's boyfriend said smiling at me then gesturing to his daughter in a one of those crib-things.

I smiled politely at him then at his baby in his arms. I looked over at the other three guys who were finishing up the game. They waved over at me and I waved a little hesitantly back.

"That's Skillz, Mouth, and Tim." Nathan said gesturing to each of them in turn.

"They'll be over in a minute."

"Oh! You don't have to stop on my account." I politely said looking towards the bleachers and thinking about going to sit down.

"We want to. Peyton told us so much about you!" Nathan said enthusiastically. He looked like a little kid in a sweet shop; so overly excited to be there for a simple thing. I looked at Peyton who shrugged and took Jenny from Jake's arms.

"There's not much to tell about me, really." I said trying to get these...friends of Peyton's away from me.

"You're a famous musician! That's about as cool as it gets in this dump." Brooke said finally speaking up.

I looked at her, then to Nathan and Lucas looking at me expectantly. I sighed as Skillz, Mouth, and Tim joined us. I raised my eyebrows as Tim looked me up and down and let out a low whistle.

"Cut it out, man." Nathan muttered smacking him in the stomach.

I smiled at Nathan and let out a louder sigh.

"What do you guys wanna know about me?" I finally gave in. Maybe if I told them everything they needed to know I'd be let off the hook easier.

"Why the hell were you sent to Tree Hill?" Brooke asked looking at me.

"I...my mom wanted me to have a bit on a normal life, so she sent me to live with her brother, Peyton's dad. Plus I'm trying to write another album and I need creativity." I smoothly lied plastering on a million dollar smile.

Everyone seemed to buy it, except Nathan and Peyton who raised their eyebrows at my story.

"That's cool. I don't know if you'll find any creativity in Tree Hill, though." Brooke said laughing. Lucas turned to her.

"Why do you keep complaining about Tree Hill? This is our home. There are worse places to live out there."

An uncomfortable silence took place then and I shifted my weight from foot to foot.

"Is there anything else?" I said when a decent amount of time passed.

"What's your favorite band?" Jake asked trying to switch the mood from stiff to friendly.

I laughed, "probably...I'm not sure. I guess it depends on my mood. When I'm sad I like mellow music or oldies. When I'm trying for inspiration I like the Muse or Nirvana or even some types of rap. It really all depends. I like so many different artists I really can't choose."

I shrugged and prepared for the next question.

"What was your old school like?" Lucas asked.

"It was...I'm not really sure. I didn't spend a lot of time in school. But I went to a co-ed private school in New York. We had to wear uniforms. It sucked. But I only went there my Sophomore year."

"Why only your Sophomore year?"

"Because I went to Boarding school my Freshman year."

"Why?"

I laughed at their curiosity for my life.

"Because my parent's didn't want to deal with me."

"That's where you started writing your music, right?" Nathan asked.

I nodded, "yep."

"That's cool."

"Yep."

Another bought of silence occurred and we all stood around awkwardly wondering when it would end.

"So what are you doing tonight?" Nathan finally asked breaking the silence. I looked at everyone else then at Peyton who shrugged.

"I'm not sure, why?"

"Well, there's this party at one of our teammates houses and we're all going. Do you want to come?"

I nodded slowly then turned to Peyton who smiled encouragingly.

"Sounds great." I added making his kid-in-the-candy-shop smile even bigger.

I felt my heart flutter a bit.

* * *

"So..." I started as we got into the car and started to drive home.

"So those were your friends. They seem fun." I said looking at Peyton who nodded.

"Yeah. They're awesome."

"What's up with Nathan?"

"He's...happy to meet you. He flipped a shit when I told him you were coming to live here. He's a great guy. Although he's known to be a player. A huge player." She added the player part in a little bitter voice.

I raised an eyebrow at her bitter tone. "Did you guys..."

"Yeah. Actually. We broke up cause he cheated on me. Then I dated Luke for a little while."

"What happened there?"

"Um...well we just broke up and I met Jake. Jake and I have been together for almost seven months. I really like him."

Her entire face broke into a smile as she mentioned Jake's name and for a minute I felt jealous of her happiness. She didn't need an illegal thing to make her happy, all she had to do was mention a guys name and she had genuine bliss.

"So you dated all three of those guys? Isn't it a little awkward?"

Peyton laughed. "No."

We paused our conversation for a little bit until I remembered I wanted to ask her something.

"What's up with Brooke?"

Peyton sighed and frowned at the road. "Brooke is...well...she and Lucas are having problems."

I formed an 'O' with my lips.

The rest of the car ride was silent and when we got home we went to our separate rooms to get ready for the party. I walked into my new room and closed the door immediately. If I was going to hang out with these people all night I would need a little pick me up.

I started to dig through my bag and finally found the one thing I needed.

The one thing that would make me smile.

The one thing that really got me sent here.

As I took out what I needed an image of deep blue eyes and chocolate brown hair popped into my head. If I didn't start doing the drug I would have smiled all on my own on just that image.

(A/n: So? good, bad? horrible?)


	3. Chapter 3: Party

**A/n:** finally! I updated. It's been forever! But here's chapter 3 I'll try and get four up as quickly as possible! thankx so much for the reviews! I hope u guys still like!

**Chapter 3: Party**

I giggled when I finally looked in the mirror. I had spent about an hour and a half getting ready and this was the result. I was wearing a pair of tight ripped jeans and a tube top. I was wearing heels to make me look taller and my make up was perfect. I was dressed to impress and the only person I really wanted to impress was Nathan.

I watched my self turn red in the mirror at the image of the brunette.

"He's so cute." I whispered looking at my glazed over eyes.

Peyton knocked on my door and told me to hurry up.

I grabbed a coat and went to where I kept my stash.

I looked at the brown substance and sighed when I saw the amount left. I was going to have to get the needles out if I was going to prolong the search for drugs in Tree Hill. I was sure they probably only had Meth anyway, it was a small town.

"Great." I said bitterly at the thought.

I wasn't really into Meth.

"Haley!" Peyton said pounding on the door again.

I stuffed the baggie in my pocket and went to the door to face Peyton.

"Chill." I said closing the door and turning to look at her.

She gave me a funny look then smiled at my outfit.

"Are you trying to get laid tonight?"

I smirked at her and flipped my hair, "maybe."

"Nathan going to keel over." I heard Peyton mutter as we walked to her car.

The drive to the party was quiet, neither of us had anything to say. We listened to the popular radio station and I groaned when I heard the familiar cords of the next song.

Peyton suddenly laughed.

"Is it weird to hear your own music?"

I nodded, "it's really weird. It's like another view of you. It's opening yourself up to the world." I said quietly.

I always got really philosophical when I was stoned.

Again Peyton gave me a weird look.

"Wow. Is this his house?" I asked when I saw a large house come into view.

Peyton nodded and we parked behind a whole line of cars.

"Are you ready?" she asked smiling at me.

I nodded and opened the car door. We walked to the front door together and I was surprised at the amount of nerves in me. I was gnawing on my lip before we got to the door. I watched as she opened the door in a fluid motion and stepped in. I followed and raised an eyebrow at what I saw.

I was more into clubs back in New York a lot of kids I knew had parties, but it was different. The parties in New York were smaller, about ten people and there was tons of drugs and booze. At this tree Hill party there was tons of people and tons of booze.

But there were no drugs.

And that was a problem.

"Do you want a drink?" Peyton yelled over the bass guitar solo on some song playing over the stereo.

The house was packed and the girls seemed to be dressed in as little as possible. I felt overdressed and overstyled. It was the first time I had ever felt self-conscious and out of place in my life. New York was all chic. Tree Hill was as quickly as possible. Here, everyone wanted everything now and face it was a lot more...white trash was probably the best way to describe it.

New York was as messed up as humanly possible, but you couldn't show it. Plus there were more drugs there. Tree Hill seemed to be made of beer and cheap beer at that. I was starting to realize that Tree Hill really was hell. Well at least it would be if I didn't find a Heroin dealer within a week.

I would go crazy and it would be known as the _Tree Hill Massacres by Haley James_. Hm...nice song title.

"Sure. Is there anything besides beer?" I asked walking with her into the kitchen.

We looked in the freezer and found a bottle of Vodka.

"That's what I'm talking about." I said sighing happily when we opened the bottle. I didn't even take a glass I just gulped it from the bottle.

"Damn girl! You can drink." A guy said as I put down the bottle. A fourth of the bottle was gone and I didn't feel any different.

"Thanks." I said smiling and watching as Peyton poured some into a glass.

"I'm Charles." the guy said smiling at me.

"You look familiar. But I don't think you go to my school..." he said squinting his eyes at me.

I laughed, "I'm Haley." Charles looked back and fourth between Peyton and I.

"Ah! So you're the infamous Haley James."

"Guilty." I said sighing.

"Well then, let me get you another drink and we can talk." he said smirking at me. I looked at Peyton who was talking to a blonde I shrugged and followed Charles to a different room.

"Peyton's been telling everyone you were coming." Charles started as we came to sit on a couch. I had somehow gotten another cup of beverage and I tasted it to see what it was.

It was Cranberry and Vodka, my favorite.

I drank most of the cup down.

"You see, Haley, I know about you and your...problem."

I looked up quickly from my cup.

"What problem?" I said sweetly.

"You're a smackhead, Haley. It's all over the tabloids. I have some good news though...I know a guy."

I smirked at the last four words. Those were the best four words I had ever heard in my life. I knew what those words meant.

"Really?" I said smiling.

"That's convenient. Why would you help me though? Do you want money?"

"I want a chance to be someone." he said simply.

I raised an eyebrow not sure what that meant.

"Here's my number. Call me when you need some."

I nodded and watched as he programed his number into my phone.

* * *

"I don't know where Peyton is." I slurred upon seeing Lucas.

I collapsed clumsily onto the couch beside him. Lucas looked at me and smiled.

"Wow. You're trashed."

"Thanks. I kinda wanna go before I do something stupid though. So do you know where Peyton is?" I said squinting at him.

Lucas shook his head. "No. Sorry."

"Shit." I muttered leaning my head against the couch pillows.

"You don't look so good." he said quietly.

"Well drinking a bottle of Vodka will do that to you." I said flipping out my phone. It took my awhile to read the screen.

"It's 2 am."

"Is Larry home?"

"I don't know." I said shaking my head.

"I've never had to worry about parents before. Shit. I don't care anymore. I think I'll just sleep here on the couch and figure everything out tomorrow." I said closing my eyes.

I was so tired.

"Haley don't go to sleep here." Lucas said shaking me.

It was no use though. I was so tired and the couch was so comfortable. Suddenly I was in the air and someone was carrying me.

"What?" I slurred trying to open my eyes.

"Don't worry. You'll be fine." Whoever was caring me said.

I smiled lazily not caring.

(A/n: Nathan will make an appearence a lot in the next chapter! no worries!)


	4. Chapter 4: Drunk Girl

**A/n:** two updates in two days! I feel so proud! thank u to all of you guys that reviewed! I actually am a little conflicted with Haley. It's like Haley if grew up in New York with Rich parents and started her music career earlier I guess. SHe's not like a wild child, but she's pretty close. Her only problem is her drugs and the desire to be loved. Don't worry she's still Haley and her real colors will show through! ANyway! Here's chapter 4! Tell me what u think!

**Chapter 4: Drunk Girl**

My eyes snapped open when I felt the bed dip down.

"What—" I started to say but then stopped when a light was turned on. I was still drunk and now I was blind because of the bright room.

"Haley?"

My eyes blinked several times before they adjusted and I could make out a tall brunette boy.

"Nathan?" I rasped sighing when I recognized him.

He laughed at me. I took this chance to eye the walls. I saw a couple of basketball posters behind him and if I bothered to turn around I was sure I'd find some more.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked.

"I dunno." I said laying back down and spreading my limbs out. I turned onto my stomach and looked at him smiling seductively.

"I think Lucas dumped me in here when I fell asleep on your couch." I said simply.

He laughed and came to sit on the end of the bed.

"It's 4 am. Do you have to be anywhere?"

I shrugged and sat up scooting closer to him.

"I have no idea. I lost Peyton ages ago."

"Right..." he said looking at me.

I could tell he was drunk too. I saw him eyeing my lips and I smiled coming to almost sit on his lap. Our lips were barely inches away. I smiled when his eyes turned lustful.

"Is this your room?" I asked thinking back to the basketball posters.

"Usually." he said before our lips met.

It was the hottest kiss I had ever had.

And I have kissed a lot of people.

I smiled into his lips and kissed him harder. Somehow we ended up on the mattress with both of our shirts off. I broke the kiss and straddled him. I smiled when I saw his sweaty chest and him hard.

"Your really good at that." I said talking about the kissing.

He smirked, "I can't believe I'm making out with Haley James. It's surreal." he said looking up at me.

My smiled wavered and suddenly I didn't want to do this anymore.

"I—" I started to say but stopped when he interrupted.

"I don't think we should do this though." he said still looking at me.

I nodded not bothering to ask for an explanation.

"It's not that I don't like you. It's just...your drunk and I'm drunk and I don't want that to happen like this."

I nodded not knowing what else to say. We stayed in our position for a few minutes longer just looking at each other, me straddling him. Suddenly one of my songs came on in the form of a ringtone.

I blushed when I realized it was his phone.

I watched as he blushed to then dug in his pocket to get it.

"Hello?" he said still looking at me.

"Oh. Really. That's interesting." Nathan said staring at me now.

I blushed again and got off him to get my shirt.

"Yeah. I'll find her and tell her." he said then muttering a 'goodbye.'

He sat up and looked at me.

"Lemme guess. That was Peyton." I said going to a mirror and fixing my outfit and hair. I looked like a drunk girl. I was still wobbling around too.

"Yeah. She says that you should just stay here and that she or I should drop you off in the morning."

I sighed and nodded.

"Did she say where she went?"

Nathan shrugged.

"She's probably over at Jake's."

I bit my lip and went to sit on his bed.

"So...where should I sleep?"

Nathan looking down at the ground, "well I was thinking you could just sleep in here...but you don't have to if you don't want to."

I smiled at him. "I want to." I said crawling over to where I previously was.

He turned off the lights and our bodies curled together.

I felt safe.

I felt happy.

I felt wanted.

* * *

The next time I woke up sober still next to Nathan. When I opened my eyes it took me a little while to comprehend everything that had happened the night before. Then I watched him sleep a little longer. He looked so sweet and peaceful I stroked his hair and smiled at the softness.

Finally I got out of bed and went downstairs to call Peyton. She was awake when I called and promised to be there in twenty minutes. I decided to sit at the kitchen island and wait for her. But then my hands started shaking and I started to sweat.

I cursed the need for a fix.

So I found a bathroom and locked the door so I could snort my drugs. Then I tried to help clean up the house from the party. I was too high though and started laughing at nothing so I never really helped in cleaning up, I just made it worse. Nathan didn't come down before I left and I'm glad for that. I don't know what I would have said to him. Plus I was high and he had never seen me high. He'd probably think I was a piece of trash.

That's what I thought.

"Haley, you look like hell." Peyton said eyeing me when I got into the car.

I glared at her, "thanks."

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"I mean you disappeared while I was talking to Amber."

"Yeah...I was talking with someone."

Peyton looked at me suspiciously. "Oh."

"Yeah, no big deal. Where did you end up?" I said watching the landscape pass. I was coming down which usually made me bitchy.

"Jake's. I hope Nathan made a bed for you or something. He's a great guy, but sometimes he can push without meaning it...you know."

I laughed at her, "it's ok. We didn't have sex if that's what you mean."

Peyton nodded. "Ok."

We were quiet until we pulled into the driveway to her house.

"So...I was thinking we could go shopping today for school supplies. Your schedule came in the mail and I know all your classes so your supplies should be easy."

I sighed and nodded.

"Sounds fine." I said opening the door.

"Let me take a fast shower."

Peyton nodded and I walked to my room to take a shower.

After I showered I took a needle out and shot up.

If I was going shopping all day I'd need a pick me up.

(A/n: So?!)


	5. Chapter 5: Lost

**A/n:** Oh thank you so much for all the reviews! I seriously love this story it's very fun to write. And i'm very excited for OTH tonight...anywho! Here's chapter 5 hope you like it!

**Chapter 5: Lost**

The next day we had school. I absolutely abhorred school in any state. It was a waste of my time and the kids were always unnecessarily mean. I hated the learning aspect because I felt like I was being controlled and stanched creatively. I had to wake up at an obscenely early time, 6:30, so I could get in all my beauty necessities.

I ended up sleeping till 7 and rushing through my morning routine. We left at 7:30 to go get coffee then make our way to Tree Hill High. Joy. We got there five minutes before the bell rang and Peyton hurried off pointing me in a vague 'over there' direction.

Shit.

I was lost and first period had started. I was looking for 216. Somehow I found the room only being 10 minutes late.

"May I help you?" the teacher asked as I stumbled in the door.

A girl shrieked, "oh my God! It's Haley James!"

I tried to avoid the eyes that were suddenly on me and I turned to the teacher and smiled.

"Hi I'm Haley, I'm new."

"Oh My God!" the girl screamed again.

I wanted to groan.

"Hi I'm Mr. Arthur. I'll be your Trig teacher."

I inwardly moaned as he pointed me to an empty seat. My first period passed at an agonizing pace and by the end my hands were shaking slightly and I knew it was time for a quick bathroom break.

So instead of going to second period I rushed out of the room as the bell rang and into the bathroom. I opened the first stall and locked it with trembling fingers. I then took out my slowly minimizing bag and took out one of my new binders. I then snorted it off the binder and fell into the deep sensation running through my body.

I smiled for the first time that day. Then I exited the bathroom and towards what I thought was second period. I wondered around the school for a long time finding all of the posters and banners so pretty and colorful. As I entered another section of the school I heard someone call my name.

"Haley!"

I spun around quickly hoping it wasn't a teacher.

"What are you doing?"

I sighed when I saw it was Lucas.

"Nothing." I said smiling at him.

"I'm looking for 321. I think I'm suppose to be in second period Spanish II..." I said biting my lip to keep from laughing.

I couldn't help it, I was so high and Lucas was staring at me like I was crazy. I looked at the clock on the wall and realized it was way past the start of second period. As a matter of fact according to my schedule it was almost third.

"Oh shit. Did I miss all of second?" I said letting a giggle escape my lips.

"Haley? I saw you wondering around the school from my class...are you ok? Are you lost?"

I stared at him in disbelief, "why else do you think I'm wondering around the school. Peyton didn't show me around and now I'm lost." I said suddenly on the brink of tears. I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath.

Suddenly Lucas was hugging me which snapped me back to reality.

I stepped back from him quickly and smiled.

"Sorry. I'm fine. I just hate school..." I said quietly.

"Can you point me to 156? For third period? I'll be early for that." I said quietly.

Lucas smiled kindly at me, "sure. What do you have?"

"English." I said quietly.

"Really? With who?"

"Parker."

Lucas laughed, "that's great. You'll have it with Nathan and I."

I tried to smile at him, "great."

He then told me how to get to the room and he went back to finish second period. I stood outside of the English room when I finally found it and waited for the bell to ring. When it finally did I went in and up to the teacher.

"Hi, I'm Haley James I'm new." I said quietly to the middle age women.

She smiled at me, "yes I know. I'm Mrs. Parker. You're going to want to go down to the book office to get our current book. It's called 'Pride and Prejudice' I'm sure you've heard of it."

I nodded. "Here I'll write you a pass and you can go now." she said handing me a pink pass and giving me directions.

By the time I came back to the class with a badly beaten up version of 'Pride and Prejudice' the seats were full. Except one and it wasn't next to Nathan or Lucas. It was by a window, which meant excessive daydreaming.

"Class this is Haley James. Make her feel at home." Mrs. Parker said looking at me.

"Haley would you like to tell the class something about you?"

I gulped at looked at the staring teens. Nathan smiled encouragingly at me.

"Uh...not really." I blurted out looking apologetically at the teacher.

She frowned at me, "well we all know you sing."

"Yeah...I sing." I said quietly feeling dejected about my music career.

She ushered me to the empty seat and started talking about the different themes in the book. They were obviously just starting the novel. I came at the perfect time, I thought bitterly.

I suddenly wanted to be back at home in my studio writing music. I didn't want to be in this horrible place with these people who only stared at me. I wanted to be in New York with my dealer shooting up Heroin and screwing him out on his balcony.

"Haley."

I looked up at Nathan who was whispering to me. We were suppose to be getting ahead in the book while Mrs. Parker graded papers. I had zoned out for most of class and suddenly I felt lost again.

"Yeah?" I whispered back looking at him.

He was two rows over, but I could see and hear him perfectly. Suddenly all those thoughts of screwing my dealer and being in New York were gone. I just had to look at him and I was ok. I smiled at him and I watched him stare at me.

"Are you ok? You seem kinda...lost." he mumbled looking back at his book.

"I'm fine, stop worrying."

"Why didn't you wake me up yesterday?" he asked looking at me with beautiful blue eyes.

The two people between us were starting to get annoyed.

"You were sleeping I didn't want to wake you." I said watching at the teacher looked up from her desk.

"Nathan! Haley! Stop talking." she snapped looking at us angrily.

I sent a smile over to Nathan and started reading. Finally the bell rang and Nathan came over to me.

"What do you have next?"

"Criminology." I said looking at me schedule.

"With Byron? Your probably with Brooke then. She likes the class." Nathan said looking down at me.

"That's good...where is it?" I asked.

Nathan laughed, "I'll walk you."

"Good. I don't want to get lost again." I muttered as we started towards my class.

"So how's your first day been going?" he asked.

I shrugged thinking about earlier and how I missed my first Spanish class.

"I guess it's going good...I keep getting lost though." I said.

"Yeah, the schools pretty big, but you'll get used to it. How's living with Peyton?"

"Good, I mean she's my cousin. Flesh and blood and all that." I vaguely answered.

"How's your house? It was pretty trashed last time I saw it."

He laughed and came to a stop in front of my room.

"It's fine. I got the guys to help me clean up."

I nodded and looked inside the room. There sure enough I saw Brooke smiling at me and waving me in.

"I better go and you should probably go to class." Nathan smiled down at me and mumbled a 'goodbye.'

I watched him walk down the hall and I couldn't help but admire his ass.

I smiled as I walked into the room.

(A/n: so? It's progressing...slowly...)


	6. Chapter 6: Cheated Hearts

**A/n:** hey hey! thanks so much for the reviews. u guys are still amazing for reading this. lol. I'm not exactly sure about the bitchy girls yet... i did figure out though the outline and the drama which i was still hazy on. I think you guys are really gonna enjoy it. It's completely new and fresh. atleast i think it is! ok chapter 6 is long and chapter 7 should be up soon! i'm having waaaay too much fun w/ this story lol. oh yeah and the chapter title is by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

**Chapter 6: Cheated Hearts**

Criminology with Brooke was painful. Beyond painful, she complained about everything. Mostly she complained about Lucas, but when the teacher started to get angry at her she complained about him too. The class took forever and when it finally rang I dashed off to lunch only to find Brooke cheerily following me still complaining.

I didn't know anyone could complain that much about their life. In a way it was nauseating. Brooke had everything anyone could want, she was rich, beautiful, and smart. Someone like that didn't even deserve to complain.

"Brooke. Why are you complaining?" I finally asked coming back to reality.

The white static that had been there previously vanished.

"You should be happy with what you have, you have everything anyone could ever want." the words were just flowing from my mouth and I watched her mouth go from surprise to anger.

"Why do you do drugs then Haley, you have everything _you_ want."

I scowled at her as we entered the cafeteria.

"I don't do drugs." I said bitterly.

"And I don't have everything I want." she countered.

I suddenly smirked at her. "So where do you guys sit at lunch?"

Brooke smirked back at me.

"Usually outside. Come on I'll show you."

We started to walk outside and I was suddenly blinded by the bright sun.

"Over there by the tree." Brooke said nodding at where I could see Nathan sitting beside Lucas.

I took a deep breath in and gripped my packed lunch tighter. I looked around outside and suddenly I saw a familiar face. It was the guy I had meet that weekend at Nathan's party.

Charles.

The guy that wanted to be known.

Perfect.

I smirked at him from across the quad and saw him give me a thumbs up.

"Hold on. I have to go to the bathroom. I'll meet you." I said starting to walk over towards him.

"I'll go with you. I don't want you to get lost." she said smiling at me.

I looked nervously over at Charles who was standing over by the bathrooms.

I looked at Brooke and sighed.

"Um I think I can find it. I'm getting the hang of this school." I said trying to shake her off.

"Really, it's fine I have to pee anyway Crim was so long." she merrily answered.

I scowled.

"Nevermind." I snapped walking away from the bathrooms and my possible drug connections.

"We can go if you want." Brooke said looking at me strangely.

I looked back towards the bathrooms and saw that he had left anyway.

"No. I just want to go eat." I said walking towards Lucas and Nathan.

They waved as we walked towards them and finally sat next to them under the shade.

"What were you guys doing?" Lucas asked.

"Haley had to go to the bathroom and I was going to go with her, but then she changed her mind." Brooke said matter of factly.

I scowled at her.

Nathan turned to look at me, "what's that about?"

I shrugged, "I was hungry. So where's Peyton and Jake?"

"They go home Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays to feed Jenny." Lucas said biting into his sandwich.

"Oh." I said digging through my own lunch.

I listened while the others talked. I wasn't really absorbing what they were saying, but it was there and suddenly everyone was looking at me.

"What?" I asked blinking back to reality.

"I asked you if you wanted to come to Tric tonight. Peyton booked the Yeah Yeah Yeahs." Brooke said.

"Peyton?" I asked confused.

"Yeah she works there. Didn't she tell you?" Lucas asked curiously.

I shook my head then stood up.

"I'd love to come tonight. I'll just talk to Peyton about the details and meet you there. I gotta go I just...forgot something." I said suddenly walking away from the three friends.

They sat in awe not even bothering to go after me which was good because I had seen another chance. I walked over to Charles who again was over by the bathroom. I dragged him over to where we were out of sight of the three friends.

"Hey. Sorry about before Brooke wanted to come with me." I said upon seeing Charles who chuckled.

"It's cool. So what do you want?"

I smiled widely at him. "How are we going to do this?"

He smirked at me. "Well we can do it either way. Either one you trust me with your money—"

"Nuh uh." I said shaking my head.

"Or you can come with me."

"When?" I asked.

"Now. I can get it for you now."

My face lit up like a Christmas tree and I watched as he took my hand.

"I'll drive." he said looking at me.

I nodded and we started towards the parking lot where all the cars were. We walked over to a little blue Toyota and got in. He started the car and we drove away from the high school. All I could think about was attaining my drugs.

* * *

I got home way after I meant to. I meant to go get my stuff with Charles then go back to school. But then we ended up staying at the dealers house longer then necessary. We started shooting up together and by the time I left it was almost 4. Charles dropped my off around 4:30 and I entered the house to see a pissed off Peyton.

"Where the hell have you been? School's been over for and hour and a half." she shrieked when she saw me.

I stared at her for a moment then giggled.

"Chill out Peyton." I said still riding my current high.

"What the hell's the matter with you?" she yelled getting louder.

"Leave me alone." I said starting to walk to my room.

"Everyone's been worried sick, Haley!" Peyton announced following me.

"Leave me alone." I said again coming to my door.

"No. Where were you? I looked for you after school. I tried your phone. Nothing! Why are you doing this?" she asked grabbing my arm before I could shut her out.

I looked at her for a long moment before I sighed. "Because I can and because I want to. What time are we going to Tric?"

Peyton glared at me. "Who said you're invited."

"Brooke." I said smirking at her.

"I'll be ready in an hour, cousin."

Then I shut the door and went into the bathroom to snort more of my stash. The intense wave of high hit me and I found myself passed out on my bathroom floor. I woke up 30 minutes later feeling groggy and disoriented. Suddenly I heard knocking and I knew it was Peyton coming to rescue me.

"Haley! Get the hell up." I groaned and turned to look in the mirror.

I looked like hell and I felt like it too.

"Shit." I muttered going into my bedroom and throwing on a denim skirt, boots, and a black tube top. I piled on my make up and emerged 10 minutes later smiling at Peyton.

"Ready?" I asked.

Peyton looked at me and nodded.

"Haley, I know people back in New York didn't care, but we do here. The next time you decide to cut school tell me."

I stopped myself from rolling my eyes and just nodded.

"Alright." Peyton paused staring at me.

"So where'd you go?"

I shrugged, "no where."

"You don't even have a car."

"Peyton, really. I don't want to do this. Let's just go." I said annoyed.

I felt as if she was trying to be my parent. I didn't need a parent. I didn't need someone hounding my 24/7. I just wanted a friend.

"Fine." she snapped as we walked towards the door and to her car.

The drive to Tric was short and as we entered the club Lucas and Brooke came over.

"Where did you go off to?" Brooke asked eyeing me.

"No where. I went to class." I said looking at her oddly.

Lucas looked at Peyton then back at me.

"Really? Because your name was called in 2 of my afternoon classes and you were no where in sight." Nathan said coming up behind me.

I jumped in shock and turned to look at him. He looked incredibly hot tonight which made me smile at him. He didn't return it though.

"So...?" Lucas asked.

They were all looking at me by now and I felt kinda weird. Why should people care this much about me? I wasn't that interesting. I wasn't a good person. I was just a fucked up mess that just happened to land here for my junior year.

"Nathan? Do you wanna dance?" I asked looking at him hopefully.

He was caught off guard for a minute then smiled at me. "Sure."

Just then the Yeah Yeah Yeahs came on the stage and I took Nathan's hand.

"Come on." I said dragging him onto the dance floor.

He laughed nervously and put his hands on my waist. The opening cords of 'Cheated Hearts' started and we were dancing. I felt oddly safe in his arms and when I looked in his deep blue eyes my heart accelerated.

__

Cheated by  
The opposite of love  
Held on high  
From up up up above  
Kept my high  
From the second one  
Kept my eye  
On the first one

I smiled when he twirled me around and I laughed when he fell off beat._  
_

_Now take these rings  
And stow them safe away  
I'll wear them on  
Another rainy day  
Take these rings  
And stow them safe away  
I'll wear them on  
Another rainy day  
_

I looked deep in his bright blue eyes seeing all the emotions running through them and I realized mine probably looked the same._  
_

_Take these rings  
And stow them safe away  
I'll wear them on  
Another rainy day  
Take these rings  
And stow them safe away  
I'll wear them on  
Another rainy day  
_

He pulled me closer and I breathed in the sweet smell of him I wanted to remember it forever._  
_

_Well I'm  
Taka-taka-taka-taka-takin' it off  
And she's  
Taka-taka-taka-taka-takin' it off  
And he's  
Taka-taka-taka-taka-takin' it off  
And we're  
Taka-taka-taka-taka-takin' it off  
_

I closed my eyes briefly and tried to hold onto this feeling inside me._  
_

_Sometimes  
I think that I'm bigger  
Than the sound  
I think that I'm bigger Than the sound  
I think that I'm bigger  
than the sound  
I think that I'm bigger  
Than the sound  
_

I didn't know what this growing feeling was inside me, but it was making me feel all warm and fuzzy._  
_

_She'll take on high  
She'll take on high-igh  
_

I heard Peyton, Jake, Brooke, and Lucas whistling and I tried to ignore them._  
_

_Well sometimes  
I think that I'm bigger  
Than the sound  
I think that I'm bigger  
Than the sound  
I think that I'm bigger  
Than the sound  
Well I think that I'm bigger  
Than the sound  
_

Nathan pulled back for a moment and looked deep in my eyes, I could see lust and a hint of fear in them._  
_

_Cheated by  
The opposite of love  
Held on high  
From up up up above  
Kept my high  
From the second one  
Kept my eye  
On the first one_

I realized then that I wanted him to kiss me, the last time we had kissed we'd been drunk, I wanted to remember this one forever._  
_

_Now take these rings  
And stow them safe away  
I'll wear them on  
Another rainy day  
Take these rings  
And stow them safe away  
I'll wear them on  
Another rainy day  
_

He leaned his head forward and barely brushed my lips with him, he left me wanting more. So much more._  
_

_Now take these rings  
And stow them safe away  
I'll wear them on  
Another rainy day Take these rings  
And stow them safe away  
I'll wear them on  
Another rainy day  
_

"Haley? Do you want to have dinner tomorrow night?" he asked softly as the song ended.

I smiled and opened my mouth to reply.

(A/n: so?)


	7. Chapter 7: Date

**A/n:** I know another chater so soon. But like i said i really like writing this story... I decided for Haley to write a song, altough i'm not writing it. It's a real song as you all probably know. THe name of the song that's lyrics are at the end are 'Dead and Gone' by TI and feat. Justin Timberlake. Yeah...lol. here's chapter 7.

**Chapter 7: Date**

After Peyton and I got home from Tric I did something I hadn't done in months.

I sat down at my desk took out a pad and pen and started to write lyrics.

For a song.

I was writing music again, to perform. If I had bothered to self-analyze myself I would have figured out that Nathan Scott was my inspiration. I ended up only getting a couple hours of sleep that night, but the half finished song and the warm feeling coursing through me was enough. I woke up once, but only to satisfy my bodily cravings.

The next day at school was pretty boring, I actually made it to second period this time along with my morning classes I also didn't see Charles. I was very excited for tonight too. The entire day I thought about what I was going to wear on Nathan's and mine's date. Immediately after school I went home and started getting ready. Well I shot up and passed out for a couple hours then I got ready.

By the time Nathan rang my doorbell I couldn't sit still and all I wanted to do was talk to him.

"Wow. You look amazing." he said surveying me and my outfit.

I giggled and took his hand.

"Thanks. I dressed to impress."

He led me towards his car and we started to drive towards the restaurants in town.

"Where are we going?" I asked looking out the window into the black abyss of trees.

"You'll see." he said laughing.

"Can you give me a hint?"

"Well...there's food."

"Really now." I said sarcastically.

"Yes really. There are drinks too."

"What a strange restaurant." I mused smiling at him.

He smiled back and we drove a little further.

"Please...a small hint."

"Well it's not fast food."

"Thank god."

"But it's ethnic food."

"Hm..." I said thinking.

The truth was I wasn't really aware of any eaters in Tree Hill. But I enjoyed the sparring we were engaged in. Finally we pulled into a little restaurant squashed between two big other ones and a parking lot filled with cars.

"I made reservations so you don't have to worry." he said as we searched the place for a spot.

Eventually we found one and parked. We then went into the crowded restaurant and received a table in mere minutes.

"I hope you like Mexican." he said over the Spanish music.

I nodded encouragingly and started to flip through the menu.

"Hello I'm Carla I'll be your server this evening. Can I start you off with a few drinks?"

I looked at Nathan who nodded and ordered a coke. I ordered a virgin Shirley Temple and she wondered off to go get our drinks.

"So tell me more about New York." he asked once Carla had left.

I giggled involuntarily and looked around the Mexican place for inspiration.

"Well it's a lot different then Tree Hill. I was more independent there I think. Here people are always around." I didn't mean to make it sound bitter, but that's how it came out.

I smiled apologetically at Nathan, "sorry. I'm still getting used to all the major changes."

"I still can't believe you're here. I mean, your music kinda saved me."

I smiled largely at that and leaned in. "Saved you? What do you mean?"

"I mean..." he blushed lightly and looked passed me. "I'm sure Peyton's told you about Lucas' and mine's father, right." I nodded and waited for him to go on. "The truth is that even though Lucas didn't have Dan...he was the lucky one. His mom really loves him and can support him, plus he got the good brother. Dan had a brother, Keith and that's who raised Lucas. Even though I got Dan and Deb, that's my mom. I would trade my life for his in a second." He rambled telling me his life's story.

I reached my hand to touch his. I wanted to support him while he told me this story.

"So back in the beginning of high school I was a total ass. I mean, I'm still kinda an ass, but I hide it better." He paused to laugh. "Back last year, in the beginning, I guess, you sent Peyton your first album and somehow it ended up with me cause we were dating back then. What you sang about and stood for really spoke to me...it was like finding religion for some people I guess."

I watched as he blushed again.

"I think it made me a better person. It just saved me, that's the best way to describe it."

By the end of his confession my face was also burning.

"Wow. That's ironic." I said thinking about my own past.

He looked at me a question written on his face. "Yeah? How?"

I looked down at the table. "Well...my music saved you, but it destroyed me I think."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Why do you say that?"

"Well I'm sure you've seen the Tabloids." I mumbled twisting my napkin in my hands.

"Oh. That. It's not true is it?" Nathan asked his hand loosening in mine.

I looked into his eyes and realized that he idolized me. I was perfect to him. I had saved him. I didn't want to damage his illusion of me.

"No. It's not true. It just changed me in different ways that Tree Hill would probably not change you." I lied smiling at him and sipping my water the waitress had brought us while we waited for our drinks.

He smiled and tightened his grasp in mine.

"If you write anything I'd love to hear it." he said as our drinks came.

"I'd love to show you." I countered as the waitress asked us to order.

After we told her what we wanted I looked across the table at Nathan and realized that maybe whatever I was feeling wasn't just lust towards the guy. Maybe this warm fuzzy feeling in me whenever I was around him was...love. I had never experienced love and the thought of experiencing it with Nathan didn't scare me. It made me happy.

He smiled at me and started to tell me about Basketball and how excited he was that the season was starting up.

"Did Peyton mention you being a cheerleader? Brooke's really desperate in finding one." Nathan commented smirking at me. "You'd make a hot cheerleader." he added.

I smiled and took a sip of my drink. "I don't think so. That's too high school for me."

"It could be fun...you never know."

"I don't, but still..." I said shrugging.

"I don't think cheering is my thing." He shrugged and changed the subject.

I found myself having a great time with him until I realized my hands were shaking and it was time for my fix.

"I'll be right back." I said smoothly standing up.

He nodded and watched as I went to the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and took out the book I always had in my purse and my baggy which was filled with brown powder. I snorted some lines off the book and paused to bask in my high. I stumbled out of the stall and flipped my hair and fixed my make up to try and look normal. I didn't want to go back out there and face Nate high, but I knew I had no other choice. If I took even longer he'd get suspicious and come looking for me. I had to act as sober as possible, I didn't want to let him down.

I wondered back to the table and saw the food had been delivered.

"That looks good, you want to share?" I asked eyeing his plate.

He looked at mine and nodded.

"Half and half?"

I nodded and we split our meals up and placed them on each other's plates. We ate in a comfortable silence listening to the salsa music above us. By the time I was done eating I couldn't tell if I was high or sober I was so happy.

Nathan dropped me off around 12 with a 'good night' kiss. It was a pretty steamy 'good night' kiss which I didn't mind. It gave me even more inspiration to write a song. So I went back to the song I had started the night before.

__

'Oooo,hey I've been travelin' on this road too long  
Just trying to find my way back homeThe old me is dead and gone… dead and gone…  
Ooooooo I ve been travelin' on this road to long  
Just trying to find my way back home  
The old me is dead and gone… dead and gone...'

I sang quietly before falling asleep.


	8. Chapter 8: Run, Baby

**A/n:** so how much do you guys hate me? completely disappearing at such a vital part in the naley process of falling in love. its alright though this story will be finished, promise. anywho! for everyone whose still reading thank u! and for everyone who reviewed even a bigger thanks! and i hope you guys are still going to be reading even if i did completely flake out and disappear... my computer actually died though and i lost everything ive ever written plus all 10000 pictures i have on my computer along with my entire itunes music collection which ive spent 3 years putting togather...sadness.

**Chapter 8: Run, Baby**

"—worst day of my life."

I opened my eyes hesitantly to hear a girl talking in a loud voice. I rolled over in my bed and closed my eyes again trying to block out the girl's earsplitting voice. Then there was pounding on my door.

"Haley! Haley!"

I groaned loudly when the knocking got louder and the calls became more frantic.

"what is it?" I snapped going over to my bedroom door and ripping it open.

I saw Brooke standing there before me looking like she just stepped off a runway, a very angry look plastered on her face.

"Haley! Finally! God I've been here for ages."

I stuck my head out of my door and looked up and down the hallway.

"Where's Peyton?" I asked thinking the bubbly brunette would be with my sulky cousin.

"I dunno. I was just about to ask you the same question." Brooke said pushing past me.

She went over to my bed and laid down.

I glared at her.

"What are you doing?" I asked walking towards my mirror to see how horrible I looked first thing in the morning.

"I've had the worst day, actually scratch that the worst week." Brooke moaned.

"Brooke…it's 9 am on a Saturday, how could your day already be bad?" I asked holding back the eye-roll I so desperately wanted to do.

"It's…" suddenly Brooke didn't look so angry and confident. She looked unexpectedly sad and scared.

"Haley, I…originally I came over here to talk to Peyton, but she's not here. I…I could really use a friend right now and sadly enough you're the only person I'm able to find." Brooke looked at me with huge hazel eyes.

I sighed and looked down at her, "what happened?"

I watched as Brooke curled into a ball and held one of my pillows to her stomach. She looked on the verge of tears so I went to grab her some tissues and a cup of water. When I came back she had tear streaks down her face. I sat on the edge of my bed not sure how to deal with an emotional Brooke.

"Are you sure Peyton's not here?" I said eventually after watching her cry for awhile.

Brooke shook her head, "no. I tried her phone too."

We were quiet for a long moment.

"Haley if I told you why I'm so upset do you promise not to tell anyone?"

I snorted, "Brooke who am I going to tell?" she shrugged and looked down at her hands.

I waited patiently.

"I…I'm broke."

"What?" I asked confused.

"My dad just told my mom and I that he lost his job and now we're going broke."

I watched as she dissolved in tears again and I awkwardly rubbed her back wishing I was anywhere but here.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I said trying to be sympathetic.

"I-I don't know what to do. God, Haley I'm so scared. This week has just been awful. First I find out that we have to sell some of our belongings because my dad owes money to the government. Then Lucas and I get in a fight. Then I find Peyton paraphernalia in Lucas' closet and finally I find out we are going poor because my father lost his job." She started to cry harder this time and I looked at her with real sympathy this time.

I didn't know what to say. I had never had any money problems and neither had I been with a boy that turned out to like my best friend.

"I really am sorry, Brooke." I said quietly rubbing her back slowly.

I watched as she poured her tears and heart into my pillow and I thought about how Peyton should be here instead of me. I had only been in Tree Hill a week today. I barely knew anyone, but for some reason this girl trusted me enough to pour her soul to me. I looked at Brooke and thought of all the other people I'd met here too, including Nathan.

Since our date our friendship-relationship had strengthened. Every time I was with him I wanted to tell him everything about me. The desire to be with him was so strong, it scared me. My feelings had really escalated too and everything scared me, but at the same time made me so excited. Nathan made my heart flutter and he invoked feelings I never thought I had. But like I said, I'd only been here a week so in retrospect I didn't really know anything.

"Thanks for listening to me Haley." Brooke said whipping her eyes on a tissue.

I shrugged and offered her a small smile. "No problem, Brooke." I mumbled getting off the bed.

"I should probably take a shower and get dressed though." I said going over to the bathroom door.

"Stay as long as you like though. I'm sure Peyton will be here soon." I said feeling my hands start to get sweaty.

She shrugged and sat back against my bed. "It's whatever. I don't really wanna talk to Peyton anymore." She said staring moodily at the wall.

I wondered into the bathroom and snorted up some of my drugs before hoping into the shower. As I showered I hummed a vague melody trying to think of another song that I could put on my new album. I had already finished the first song and I was debating wither or not I should share it with Nathan. I had named it and perfected it, it had only taken me 4 days too which was a new record for me. I adored the song too, it was called Dead and Gone and it talked about how I have moved on from my past and now am looking for a future.

As I showered I contemplated another song that was going around in my head. I was thinking about writing one about a boy, a specific boy with blue eyes and raven colored hair. I sighed when I thought of Nathan and the effects he had on me. I was suddenly excited to get out of the shower and start my new song. I was in such a rush I completely forgot about Brooke being there.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked as I came out of the bathroom and found Brooke reading something on my bed. When I got closer and saw the speckled black and white cover I flipped out and started yelling.

"What the fuck, Brooke! That's mine! You have no right to read that!" I yelled ripping the notebook from her grasp. She slowly looked at me in astonishment and I knew the journal entry she had been reading.

"Haley…" she said softly.

I looked in her hazel eyes and saw pity lying there and I felt the strong urge to push her or yell or something to make that look go away. "you had no right, Brooke!" I said again angrily. "If you tell anyone what you read I swear to God I will—"

"I swear, Haley. I won't tell anyone." She said quietly standing up to leave. "I should go. Tell Peyton I stopped by."

I watched her go silently then looked back down at the journal she had been reading. I ran my hands down it and glared. Brooke had no right to go through my journal and I was completely fucked if she told anyone about what she read. The perfect image of Haley James would be completely destroyed if she told a soul. I went over to where my other journal, my song journal was and put my real journal on top of it. I stared at the two deepest aspects to my psyche then decided to change their spot and hide them, just in case.

After the disaster with Brooke I wasn't in the song writing mood anymore so I decided to go for a walk. I still hadn't explored everything to see about Tree Hill so I wanted to do that before I could become really comfortable with the place. I walked past what would be a main street if the Town wasn't so small. There were some shops I stopped in, I liked a couple of the stores. I looked into the library, clothing stores, music shop, and bookstores. I was actually starting to like the small town feel for it. While I was shopping in a small boutique a little girl pulled on my leg to get my attention.

"Excuse me, are you Haley James?" the girl squeaked.

I put down the dress I was holding and blushed. The girl was small maybe 5 or 6 with blonde pigtails and jean overalls. I wanted to pick her up and hug her. I smiled down at the girl, "I am. What's your name?"

The girl blushed. "Natalie, my sister is a huge fan of yours!" she said loudly pointing over to a plump brunette who smiled embarrassed.

"Oh!" I said not knowing what else to say.

"She gave me this to give you to sign." The girl handed me over a notebook then recited what her sister told me to write and then I wrote one for her because she was just so darn cute.

After I was done with the two sisters though I needed to get out of there because I was getting my usual withdrawal symptoms. I continued walking until the shakes and the sweating was unbearable. Then I squatted behind a bush in the park and did lines off of one of my new books when is stood up to continue to walk I saw a familiar head of brown hair.

"Haley?" Nathan said surprised. I looked around me then back at him even more surprised to see I was talking to him especially after having done what I just did.

I smiled shakily at him, "Nathan! What are you doing here?" I asked as he came closer.

"Oh…well this is the River court." He said gesturing around us.

I noticed some guys playing basketball behind us and I caught a glimpse of light brown-blonde hair signaling Lucas was over there. I looked around me and vaguely wondered how I got over here, "oh, I got lost. I was taking a walk and kinda…wondered." I said sounding unsure of myself.

He looked at me with a smile, "it's alright, do you want me to walk you back? I'm almost done here…you'll just have to excuse my sweatiness." He said looking down at his soaked clothes.

I laughed and hugged him. "You're sweatiness is hot." I said kissing him on the lips. He responded instantly and his arms were wrapped around me exploring my body.

"Thank you." He said brushing hair away from my face. He leaned back down to kiss me again when there was a loud cough meant to break us apart. We did just that too, turning to the cougher I crossed my arms when I saw who it was.

"Peyton! Where have you been?" I snapped stepping away from Nathan and towards my cousin who was glaring at me.

"That's rich coming from the girl that disappears all day on her frist day of school. Haley, I need to talk to you." she said crossing her arms and glaring at me. I looked at Nathan who was glarng at Peyton and then I looked at Peyton who was glaring at me.

I rolled my eyes.

"Why? I'm kinda talking to Nathan here." I said mimicking my cousins posture.

"Haley, I'm serious. There's something really important--"

"You know, Peyton, guess who was at my house earlier today?" I waited a nano-second for a response. "Brooke! Crying!" I snapped in clear annoyance.

Peyton chose not to address that issue, but to plow on trying to get my to talk to her. Finally, I gave in. She pulled me over, ironically, back to the bush which I had gotten high behind. I watched Nathan go back to shooting hoops with some other guys. I saw Lucas glance over towards us with curiosity and I turned to face Peyton with an angry look plastered on my face.

"Look, Peyton I don't know--"

"Stay away from him, Haley." Peyton said quietly.

I raised an eyebrow and tightened my crossed arms, "stay away from who?"

"Nathan! Nathan, Goddammit! He's a good person he's not...not..."

"Not like me." I said anger coming off me in waves. If she wasn't my flesh and blood I'd stranggle her for saying this.

"Well...he's...Haley he hasn't seen what you've seen. He's never done some of the things you've done."

"Don't try and get to know me, Peyton. Don't try and pretned you know who I am and what I've went through." I growled.

She paused for a moment, maybe trying to take another approach. "Haley...your more experienced then he is. I should have--"

"I thought you told me he was a player. That he cheated on you. He also told me he wasn't a very nice person--"

"I'm not talking about sex experience, Haley! I'm talking about life experience! He's never done drugs, well except for pot. He's never even seen Her--"

"Why are you telling me this now! You knew I liked him!"

"As a friend, Haley! Only as a friend. You don't need anyone, but yourself right now you need to recover. You need to--"

"Stop telling me what I need! I know what I need and that's to stop listening to you. You know what I think Peyton! I think that you are a self-centered child who wants to keep all of the guys that she knows close to her. Brooke told me about Lucas. About how he's still in love with you or whatever. Then you have Jake as your boyfriend with the whole perfect little package deal. Then there's Nathan who was your first, right? He was your first boyfriend and first fuck. You want to keep him close and not let anyone else have him, like Jake and Lucas. That's why your giving me this fucking speech about how I'm not good enough for a boy just because I have a small--"

"Small! Small! You have nothing that's small, Haley James! That drug addiction is so out of control that I don't even know where to begin. Face it Haley your a fucking drug--"

I was astounded to find my fist smashing into Peyton's face stopping her midsentence. Suddenly there were footsteps running towards us and I knew Lucas and Nathan and all of the other guys had seen what happened.

"Haley--" Nathan started to say looking back and forth between Peyton sitting on the ground nursing a bloody lip and me standing in front of her my fists shaking. I couldn't even look him in the face I just stared at the ground as Lucas flipped out. I heard everyone shouting and yelling and making accusations. I heard Peyton start to cry, Nathan standing up for me trying to justify hitting my cousin, and I heard Lucas telling everyone that I was crazy and a possible drug addict. I slowly slipped away from the scene and started to walk. My walk turned into a jog then a full out run. I didn't hear anyone yell my name, so I didn't look back. I didn't want to look back I just wanted to keep on running.

I needed to keep on running, it was the only thing that would keep my alive.

(A/n: oooo reviews anyone? too intense?


	9. Chapter 9: Strength

**A/n:** hello hello! yes you didn't have to wait forever! but you still had to wait, so I'm sorry. Thank you for all the reviews however! I'm so happy to see that people are still reading this. I'm trying to make this story as close to reality as possible, so I hope it's potrayed. Nathan might be kinda OOC in this chapter. Hm...what else...I really need to go to bed or else this chapter and author's note would've been longer. But really I want to thank you to everyone whose reading! so tell me how it is! please.

**Chapter 9: Strength**

"Here, take this."

I took the syringe from Charles's hand and stared at it for a long time.

"I know this sounds stupid, but is this used?" I asked looking at him through droopy eyes.

I tried to be careful. I wasn't like one of those dumb addicts.

Charles laughed loudly and took the syringe away from me.

"We can smoke it if you want."

"That would be better. I can't snort anymore."

He nodded and looked over at one of the guys in the corner.

"Hey! Jimmy! Bowel."

The guy, Jimmy, who I'd met the last time I was here, stood up grumbling and disappeared up the stairs. I looked around the broken down house and took everything in slowly.

After my fight with Peyton and my 'Fight or Flight' instinct took over I ended up at this house. Luckily Charles was here. It was the first place I thought of, I needed more drugs. I needed to get away from this world right now. I didn't want to think about Peyton's words. I didn't want to think about Nathan. I wanted to be clean for a minute. (which was kinda ironic). I wanted to not think about anything. I wanted to be numb, and this place, this dilapidated house gave that to me. For the time being at least.

When I rang the bell I asked for Charles and he appeared almost like I summoned him. He energetically invited me and we discussed drug tactics until we decided how much Heroin we'd do and buy.

Now almost two hours later I was sitting exactly how I wanted. Numb on the couch. Even though I was numb though, my mind was still drifting back and forth between Nathan and euphoria. For some reason those two were linked. I couldn't help thinking about what he was doing and wither or not he was mad. I thought about if he knew yet or if Peyton 'accidentally' spilled the beans. I told myself I didn't care, but I did. I cared a lot. That scared me. It made me want to shoot up more or smoke more.

"Here." Jimmy said thrusting the smoking item at us.

Charles laughed loudly and started to pack a bowel. We passed it back and forth between us. Eventually after smoking two bowels between us I was sufficiently high. It took all of my energy to think, I knew I was ok by this point.

"What time?" I grumbled looking around for a clock.

"5 o clock!" Charles chortled.

I gasped. "Oh man! I gotta go!" I said giggling.

We continued to sit on the couch looking at each other and laughing. Another guy walked over to us and sat down.

"Hello I'm Henry." He said offering me a hand. He had deep bags under his eyes and his mouth was cut up.

"Haley." I said smiling serenely at him.

"Mind if I join you guys."

"nope. It's a free country." I said patting his shoulder.

"You guys do coke?" he asked taking out a white baggy from his pocket.

"Should we really be mixing our—?" I started to say looking at Charles.

But Charles already had his tools out.

"Do you wanna snort it?" he asked already to snort up the white powder. I

looked at him astounded.

"It's fine, Haley. You won't die or anything." Charles said dismissively.

I thought about that for a moment then shrugged. I knew he was wrong, but my day had been so bad that I didn't really care if I did drop dead from ODing. I sighed loudly and took a half piece of pen so I could snort the drug. We each did a line and by the end I felt so numb I didn't know if I'd be able to get off the couch ever again.

"Oh shit. I gotta go." Charles said looking at his watch then at me.

"You gonna be ok here, Haley?"

I heard him dimly through the haze, but I was so messed up I couldn't respond. Instead I leaned back and closed my eyes. My body craved rest. It didn't register with me that this was probably a bad place to sleep at.

Hours later I awoke to find a strange hand running up and down my leg.

"What?" I croaked shifting away from the person.

"Shhh." A deep voice said cupping my face.

"Can I help you?" I snapped getting away from this person and standing up. I wobbled a bit, but I stood my ground and looked down at this person.

"Don't you wanna have fun?" He slurred.

I shook my head and looked around the house I was still in. I looked at my phone and swore loudly. It was 11 o'clock at night and I had 10 missed calls. I started to walk towards the door but was stopped by the guy who'd been touching me.

"Don't you wanna do another line? Or shoot up?"

I looked at this guy and tried to remember if I'd met him.

"Its on me." He said smirking at me.

"Ok." I said shrugging.

We did some more heroin and eventually as the midnight hour neared I left the house. It was dark and I only vaguely knew the way. I decided to check my missed calls list to see if any were important. Peyton had called me six times, Brooke had called me twice and so did Nathan. To see his name on my phone made my stomach flip and I actually pressed 'Call' without thinking.

I was just about to hang up when he answered.

"Haley?" he asked urgently.

I paused for a moment, "Nathan?" I asked quietly.

"Haley? What happened? Where have you been? We've all been worried sick and looking for you! Have you talked to Peyton? She feels awful."

I smiled not at his words but at his voice.

Just hearing him talk made me feel fluttery.

"What are you doing now?" I asked walking along the side of the road. I watched cars whizz past and I enjoyed the soft wind on my skin. He was silent for a long time.

"Nothing, really. Don't you think you should go home though?"

I shrugged, "I can do that later. Do you wanna meet somewhere? We can hang out. I haven't really seen you in awhile." I mumbled blushing.

I was thankful he couldn't see me.

He laughed.

"Haley, I saw you a couple hours ago. I wouldn't mind hanging out with you, but it's almost midnight and—"

"Please! Nathan! I can meet you at the River Court." I begged sounding a lot more desperate then I wanted to.

"ok…I'll be there in 15."

"ok see you then." I said smiling into the phone.

I started walking faster and eventually ended up there within fifteen minutes. He wasn't there yet so I went and sat on the bleachers. I laid down and looked up at the starry sky.

"Pretty isn't it."

I sat up fast and looked at Nathan with a smile.

"you came!" "

Did you think I'd ditch you?" he asked laughing.

He walked over to me and sat on the bleachers beside me. I shook my head feeling embarrassed.

"no. I just…you probably think I'm a total nutcase now." I said blushing and looking at my feet.

He took my hand and squeezed it gently. "Not really. You add interest to my life."

I laughed and turned to look at him. "I'm sure your life is interesting already. I probably add problems."

"You don't. You're just…you're kinda lost. Everyone gets lost once in awhile. I can help you, though. It's the least I can do." He said smiling at me.

I smiled back and tightened my grip on his hand.

"Thank you for coming."

"It's wasn't that hard of a decision." He said shrugging. "I like being with you. Even though Peyton said I should stay away from you."

"Fuck Peyton." I snapped bitterly.

He chuckled softly. "I know, Peyton shouldn't decide these things, but she is my friend."

"yes, yes. She's also my cousin. I need to love her etc." I recited rolling my eyes.

"She's just trying to look out for you and me. She thought she was doing the right thing. I like you too much to stay away, though." He said warming my heart. I smiled and looked into his beautiful blue eyes.

"I like you too."

He smirked at me. "Really? That's a plus."

I laughed and scooted closer. "I mean, I really like you…we could go out again."

He grinned widely, "Is Friday ok?"

I nodded not even having to check if it was. I'd made room for him in my schedule.

"Good." He said before kissing me.

He was a great kisser and I'd kissed a lot of people. I never wanted the kiss to end and I tightened my arms around him. Our intense kiss turned into a long make out session. Once we had to break for air he cupped my face and looked straight into my eyes.

"Haley, I want you to promise me something though. If you're serious about this relationship."

I nodded watching him.

"What is it?"

If I wasn't so intoxicated my him and by my earlier activities I probably would have seen this coming.

"I want you to promise me you'll stop doing heroin."

I jerked away from him upon hearing that.

"Who told you?" I snapped my eyes wide.

He gave me an are-you-serious? Look. "Really, Haley, you should give me more credit."

I scowled.

"Do you want a relationship, Haley?" he asked taking my hands again.

I nodded against my better judgment.

"Then I want you to promise that you'll stop. No more."

I nodded slower this time.

"You swear." He said looking dead into my eyes.

I sighed and looked down at our intertwined hands. "Yes, I promise."

He smiled happily and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"Good. Now where were we?"

I smiled happily again and we went back to kissing.

This time around though I was slightly distracted about the promise I'd just made. The first thing I wanted to know was how he found out. Peyton, I thought bitterly. She probably told him to keep him away. The second thing I was thinking was how was I going to stop doing the one thing I've never been able to stop. I'd made tons of promises to tons of people to stop. I'd promised my mother, father, friends, ex-boyfriend, manager, fans, Peyton, Larry, and now Nathan.

How was I going to keep it when I hadn't before?

After pulling apart from Nathan I studied him for a minute noticing his raven hair, blue eyes, completely built body. Somehow he gave me strength and suddenly I knew that deep inside me I could do this.


	10. Chapter 10: The Shakes

**A/n: so it'll be ending soon, that is if anyone's still reading. Thank u so much for the reviews and I apologize for the long LONG wait.**

**Chapter 10 Shakes**

Nathan walked me to the door and kissed me goodnight. It was a nice kiss that could have turned into something else, but he broke away and said 'goodnight' instead. I watched him walk back into the darkness sending a look my way before disappearing.

I smiled to myself as I entered the house.

It was silent.

I tip-toed towards my room as I neared Peyton's I heard a giggle. Followed by a rumble. I felt my heart quicken and a sick feeling filled my gut. I had a suspicion as to what I was going to find as I neared Peyton's room. Her door was slightly ajar and light spilled into the otherwise dark hallway. Another giggle occurred as I stopped in front of my cousin's room.

I took a deep breath in and pushed the door open.

"Peyton?" I asked as the door slowly opened. I gasped at the scene in front of me then quickly closed the door and hurried to my room across the hall.

"Haley!" they yelled just as I shut the door to my own room.

I heard loud movements then suddenly my door swung open I looked down at the floor in shame and guilt. I had hurt Peyton in many ways, but I just didn't know what to say to her after what I just saw.

"Haley." She said again quietly coming to stand in front of me. She stared down at me until I finally looked up from the carpet and stared at her. I saw tear tracks trailing her face and when I looked away I saw hickeys covering her neck.

"I'm sorry." I said staring at the hickeys on her neck. Slowly my gaze shifted to her face and I said in a stronger voice 'I'm sorry.'

"It's ok, really. You're…you're on drugs…I forgive you."

She shifted uncomfortably and I felt anger rise in me.

"Peyton, not this again." I mumbled turning to look at the other guilty party."What do you guys have to say for yourselves?" I asked shaking my head.

"Don't put this on us. You're the one on drugs; we're trying to help you. Don't worry about us."

I continued to shake my head at Peyton.

"Peyton you have a boyfriend with a child and your Lucas have a girlfriend whose crazy about you. Why did I found you in that position! Cause I'm pretty sure you guys didn't break up with your significant other since I saw you earlier with them."

They looked down in guilt then I added.

"I'm also getting help. I know, ok, I need help. Everyone knows…I can't deny it any longer. I need help and Nathan's going to help me."

Their guilty expressions turned to shock.

"You're getting help?" Lucas asked smiling at me.

I nodded, "and you two need some too. I can't believe I just walked in on that! If you two like each other you better break up with Brooke and Jake because they don't deserve that. No one does." I said quietly then nodded at my door.

"I need to sleep."

They nodded and quietly walked out like guilty teenagers, which they are.

I sighed and got ready for bed.

Just as I got snuggly-wuggly in the bed, however I began to get the shakes. That feeling inside me that says I need it and and I need it now. I turned over and tried to close my eyes, but I couldn't. I tried to picture Nathan's face and how much I cared about him.

I was too hot.

I kicked the covers off.

I was too cold.

I needed the covers back on.

I thought of Nathan and I urged myself to go to sleep. I turned over to the other side waiting for the calm feeling to overcome me, but nothing came. I felt everything in me shake and sweat and a headache came on. I curled into a ball and continued to think of Nathan. I needed to do this for Nathan, I could beat this. I needed to.

* * *

Bright light hit my eyes and I dug deeper into the covers. I did not want to see the light.

It was too early.

I was too hot, but couldn't take my covers off since I knew once I kicked them off I'd be cold once aain.

I was shaking.

My bed was drenched in sweat.

I wanted to die.

I hadn't slept all night I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't do anything, but lay in my bed and think about Heroin and Nathan.

"Rise and Shine Haley!" Peyton screeched yanking my covers off.

I started to shiver and groped for them to throw back over me. I wrapped my arms around myself and kept my eyes shut.

"G-Go a-away!" I chattered as my hand finally came in contact with the blanket and I threw it over me.

"Haley? Are you ok?" Peyton asked.

I opened my mouth to respond when I felt a familiar vile feeling rise in me. I jumped off the bed and ran for the toilet making it just in time as I emptied my stomach into it.

"Haley? What's wrong with you?" she yelled as I retched into the porcelain bowel.

When I stopped I finally answered her. "Withdrawl." I slurred as another round hit me.

I heard Peyton say something then leaving the room. I continued getting sick and when it was finally over I washed my mouth out then passed out on the floor.

I awoke as someone lifted me up.

"What?" I rasped opening my eyes to see a raven haired blue eyed champion carrying me.

"Nathan?" I asked closing my eyes again.

"Go to sleep." He said quietly as he lay me on my bed.

I felt myself nod then drift off once again.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open as I heard my door open. I turned towards the doorway to see Peyton standing there. Nathan was sitting by my bedside, I noticed that my hand was in his.

"What time is it?" I asked feeling as if I'd been asleep for days.

"About 5." Peyton said looking at me with her wide eyes. Her hair was pulled back and she was wearing sweats.

"In the morning or at night?" I asked looking somewhere for an indication.

"Night." Nathan said as he stared at me with a look I couldn't quite figure out. It was somewhere between concern, anger, and fear.

"Are you ok?" I asked him as he continued to stare at me.

He nodded dropping my hand from his. I felt cold from the lack of contact and I drew my hand back towards me and under the covers. I was cold and still shaking, but I knew I would be ok eventually. The first few days are the hardest, but I'd made it through before.

"I should be asking you that." He said quietly looking at me bed.

"I'll be fine." I said sitting up slowly.

Nathan looked at me then turned around to Peyton. "Can you leave for a sec, I want to talk to her." He said as Peyton nodded and left. I watched her walk out and shut the door then I turned to Nathan.

"What's wrong?" I said after a short pause

. "I don't like to see you hurt, Haley." He mumbled.

I felt myself blush and look at my blanket.

"It's the only way…well I could get pills to sedate me or something, but I want to do this cold turkey. For us." I said smiling weakly at him.

He got up and sat closer to me. "Yeah, but you've been delirious and sick and hurting. I've never watched someone suffer the way I watched you today." He said looking away.

"It has to be done. It's just withdrawal. The first time I—"I started to say, but he suddenly turned to me and interrupted.

"First time? How many times have you tried to quit?"

I felt myself redden and I pulled my legs close to me and tried to avoid his gaze.

"Too many." I answered vaguely.

"Haley?" he asked prompting me.

"3 times." I muttered as I curled myself into a ball. I felt him shift beside me, but then I felt his hand on my shoulder and I realized he was lending support.

"What makes this different then?" he asked moving his hand along my arm.

I felt goose bumps along my arm and my stomach flip flop.

"Because I've got you. No one else believed I could do it…but you do." I whispered as he moved even closer wrapped an arm around me. I curled to him and lay my head on his chest wrapping my own arms around him.

"Haley?" he said after a long silence.

"Yeah?" I asked curling as close to him as possible.

"This might be a bad time but...can you sing 'Halo' for me?" he asked kissing my head softly.

I smiled and looked up slightly so I could look him in the eye.

"I'd love to."

And I closed my eyes and lay my head back down and began to sing the first few lyrics. I felt warm all over with Nathan holding me and the faith I had in Nathan. He light a fire in me that had long ago went out and I realized that I loved him for it.

_I never promised you a ray of light  
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday  
I'll give you everything i have  
the good, the bad_

_why do you put me on a pedestal?  
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below  
so help me down, you've got it wrong  
I don't belong there_

_one thing is clear  
i wear a halo, i wear a halo when you look at me  
but standing from here_

_you wouldn't say so,  
you wouldn't say so if you were me  
and I, I just wanna love you  
whoa whoa I, I just wanna love you_

_I always said that i would make mistakes  
I'm only human and thats my saving grace  
I'll fall as hard as I try  
so dont be blinded  
see me as i really am  
i have flaws and sometimes I can't even sin  
so pull me from that pedestal  
i dont belong there_

_one thing is clear  
i wear a halo,  
i wear a halo when you look at me  
but standing from here,  
you wouldnt say so,  
you wouldnt say so if you were me  
and I, I just wanna love you  
whoa whoa i, i just wanna love you_

_like you think that you know me  
but in your eyes  
I am something above you  
only in your mind  
only in your mind_

_I wear, i wear,  
I wear a halo_

_one thing is clear  
I wear a halo  
I wear a halo when you look at me  
but standing from here, you wouldnt say so  
you wouldnt say so if you were me  
and I, I just wanna love you  
whoa whoa I , I just wanna love you_

_hey ha ha halo_

I finished up the song and we kissed a long heated one. When we broke apart I smiled.

"That was amazing, Haley." He said quietly as we kissed again.

I giggled and lay my head ack on his chest.

I began to drift off and right before I fell asleep I heard Nathan mutter "I love you."

I inhaled deeply and without opening m eyes and just trusting my instincts I returned it.

"And I love you." I said quietly just as we fell asleep.

I knew I could trust him and be with him and I was free to fall in love with him.

All I needed was a leap of faith.

(A/n: I will try and finish it soon! There will be a few more chapters, or a really long one. Tell me what u think!)


	11. Chapter 11: End

**A/n: so it'll be ending soon, that is if anyone's still reading. Thank u so much for the reviews and I apologize for the long LONG wait.**

**Chapter 11: End**

The first few days are the hardest. Theres no question about it. You slowly come to terms with the fact that you won't be ale to touch the stuff ever again and that thought makes every drug addict a little crazy. I had been down this road before but I was positive that this time would be different. I was absolutely sure it would be. There was no question. I had Nathan standing beside me and helping me through the ups and downs. With his help I was slowly coming back down to earth and all of it's sobriety. It was daunting of course, but with Nathan holding me hand I would be able to see the light. The other couples in out little group weren't so lucky. I was spending most of my days in bed with Nathan coming and going when one night I was woken by yelling.

"--Can't believe you! We were best friends Peyton! How could you do something like this to me? Was Jake and Jenny not enough?" I could hear Brooke's raspy voice through the walls and I curled into myself closer. This was one fight I could really do without hearing.

"I'm sorry, Brooke! What else do you want me to say? I'm sorry...but I love him." Peyton said loud enough for me to hear. I sighed and placed a pillow over my head to see if it would drown out my cousin and her best friend.

"You love him? Love who? Lucas or Jake?" I was sadly mistaken, there would be no ignoring this conversation. I would get to hear every little last bit. I groaned loudly, but not loud enough. I heard Peyton's response and then some crashes. I sighed and slowly sat up from my bed. I had not went to school for the past week. I was too tired and recovering from this sober stunt. But with the prospect of violence going on I decided to investigate how Peyton spilling her guts to Brooke was going. I popped my head into Peyton's artistic filled room to see a broken glass object on the floor. I looked to the once beautiful object on the floor to Peyton's red and tear stained face.

"Where'd Brooke go?" I asked quietly when I saw Peyton look up at me.

"She left." she said in a quiet saddened voice. My heart ached for her and slowly I made my way to stand in front of her so I could hug her. Once we made contact she began crying on my shoulder. I tried to get her to calm down, but all she did was continously cry. I didn't say anything until several ours later when she finally got ahold of herself.

"It's over." Peyton mumbled as we lay across her bed. There were tissues everywhere, but I didn't mind. We were having a family moment.

"What's over?" I asked glancing at her.

"Jake and I. He was so angry." she muttered.

I refrained from rolling my eyes.

"Well...honestly what did you expect? He has Jenny to look out for and despite him probably loving you he didn't want to stick around with a girl who cheated on him and doesn't love him." I said reasonably. She slowly turned to glare at me and I smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, Peyton, but you know its true. I love you we're family and only family is close enough to say the truth when no one else will." I crinkled my nose at the words that just came out of my mouth then shook my head a little to clear it, I was really having a hard time over coming my drug habit. I hoped Nathan was coming over soon so I could get my mind off of the pain.

"I know...I wish I didn't." she muttered wiping her eyes. I smiled sadly at her and pulled her into another hug for both of our sacks. We both needed someone right now.

"What are you going to do now?" I asked her quietly. She shrugged and looked away from me.

"I dunno...I want Lucas but...I don't know how he's reacting to Brooke right now. I want Brooke too. I want us to be friends again. I want everything to go back to how it was. I want everything to be simple again." She looked sad again and I tried to encourage her.

"It'll take some time, but eventually everything will be worked out. You and Lucas will be together and Brooke and you will be friends again. Who knows maybe even Jake and Brooke will get together and we can all be friends. Although it would be odd." I rambled not really aware what was coming out of my mouth more so than usual.

Peyton laughed quietly, "when did you become so optimistic and reasonable?"

I shrugged, "I dunno...maybe around the time that Nathan decided to date me despite the fact that I'm a total screw up."

"No! Haley! No! Your aren't a screw up. I'm the screw up."

I laughed loudly and shook my head, "Peyton I've done a lot worse then sleep with someone else's boyfriend."

"My best friends boyfriend."

I winced and we both laughed sadly.

"Ok so maybe we're both a little screwed up, but we're cousins and we'll be together through thick and thin...so I think everything's going to be ok." I said reasonably.

Peyton smiled slowly and pated my shoulder. We had a long road ahead of us. I eventually returned to my room and slept for a few hours to eventually be awaken by Nathan.

"Hey."I said sleepily. He smiled down at me then pulled out something behind his back.

"What's this?" I asked sitting up to look at the gift Nathan was handing me. He smiled encouragingly at me and nodded down at the nicely wrapped gift in my lap. I scooted over to let him have some room in my bed.

"Open it." he said smiling at me. I leaned back and cuddled closer to him. He leaned into me and I began to open the present.

"You've been sober for a whole week now and I wanted to get you something special so you can recognize how huge this is." he said quietly playing with my hair. I smiled when I saw the bracelet inside. It was silver and beautiful and I immediately put it on.

"Oh! Nathan! It's beautiful! I love it." I gushed hugging him and kissing him.

He laughed and kissed me back. "Don't say I never gave you anything."

I giggled, "I won't and I just wanna say thanks for everything! I really couldn't have defeated this without you. I love you, Nathan." I whispered looking into his blue eyes. I watched his face turned red and him lean in closer to me.

"I love you too, Haley." And then he leaned down to kiss me and somehow I knew everything would be ok in the end.

(An: yay! I've finally finished it. It only took forever. lol. Tell me what you think of the ending.)


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